I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
