Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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