Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize