Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
