Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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