He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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