If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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