If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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