tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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