I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
