Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
