Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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