So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
third nipple confirmed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
