Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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