Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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