I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
