how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
