Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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