I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She said her name was "party"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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