we have officially lost it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
