I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
