my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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