great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
