he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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