I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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