So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Let's paint friendship bongs
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
