one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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