Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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