Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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