i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
