tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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