we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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