you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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