then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
