and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
