so that wasnt chicken after all
Buhtt sex?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
