dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
