yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
