She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I know her cup size but not her name....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
