I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
