Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize