so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
