I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
