If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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