and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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