I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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