I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize