HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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