Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
