The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she looked like the before picture.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
