Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she woke up with a sticky ear
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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