his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize