so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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