Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
