I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
cat food counts as protein by the way
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
